The article covers, mainly, why we as individuals aren't always as special as we think we are. When I first started reading the article I was like "No, I am special. I swear. My mom says so!!" but I kept reading and started to agree with him. He bases his assertion on the observation that in a world of a million blogs, worldwide Facebook users, and the opportunity at any moment to compare our lives to that of others leaves us feeling devalued and failures at not being able to achieve the life we want--or at least the life we are consistently told we should strive for. He argues that as a society we strive for earning more and more and more (the next Iphone, job promotion, or next opportunity to network), but we continue to feel like we are less and less and less valuable. And then I was like YES.
His argument resonated with me for a few reasons:
1. I am growing up in a world of Facebook, Twitter, and blogging. My life is online in almost every way possible and that leads to constant comparison.
2. I'm a twin. This may seem like an odd reason, but even before I joined the world of social media my experiences, development, successes, and failures were cast against that of my brother. I became used to hearing from teachers, coaches, and friends "Wow you're nothing like your brother!" or "If he can do it why can't you?"
3. I often feel confused about how to obtain value in a world that demands value is achieved through appearance, money, and material substance. If you've ever met me I probably didn't have make-up on and you might have questioned if I even brushed my hair that morning, and for transparency's sake money is rarely a tool I can wield for gain in my day to day life. So I have to work on feeling valuable in my way, and by own standards.
3b. Let me cast a comparison against by family and high school friends (but certainly not everyone): I have carved out my own path towards higher education, and generally, in my own life. I was afforded the opportunity to travel and work for a year before going to a college that many do not even consider to be a real college. For the sake of this argument, in many ways I am not on the standard track for "success", and I try to not care what others think of the choices I've made to create my own happiness. I have to believe that I will be happy in the end—even during the times I’m told that I’ve already failed.
My appreciation for this article stems from Manson's assertion that we all don't have to be CEOs, or world famous at anything, but we can all be important to our communities and valuable in smaller contexts—the contexts that matter. He recognizes that there is an innate human need to be seen and known and appreciated, but overtime we've misconstrued being known with how many "likes" we get on Facebook, and being seen if someone comments on our outfit, and being appreciated with how many universities offer us enrollment because obviously what we can offer an institution who doesn’t even know our name means we have value.
Of course, I’m caught up in these modern trappings myself. I pay attention to how many hits this little blog gets, and get really self-conscious when my crooked teeth make it onto Facebook. And I’m definitely not happy with all of my experiences all of the time. When my friends who go to larger universities tell me of their larger experiences I get jealous. I wonder if I’m defective because I don’t want the latest Free People clothes or even care what brand my clothes are. Truthfully, a lot of my decisions can be traced back to the anxiousness of comparison and expectation that Manson talks about.
I wish I knew a solution to breaking down a whole society worth of disillusioned success, but I don’t, and I’m hesitant to hastily subscribe to the solution Manson offers: not worrying about what others think, and embracing the simplicity of a mundane life.
I think his resolution is flawed. Accountability within a community is so important. When I don’t have people in my life to remind me and nudge me in the right direction (even if that direction is just staying true to myself) I fall hard. And if a simple life was so satisfying why do droves of people literally hunger for more (Hello there, two trips to Italy). His resolutions provide options, but I refuse to accept that’s all there is.
Value, I feel, is found when recognized. A warm hug from a close friend, or a silly award with your name on it—through those actions that recognize us we are told, and feel, that we are known by others and not just anyone, but by those who matter to us to.
Also, know that you are great in your own right. I know that there are many times in life that we aren’t told and never hear we are valuable when we so desperately want to hear a simple “Thank you!” or “Wow what a great job!” or “I love you”.
My opinions are but one of billions, but I am firm believer that you and I matter because we exist. We make a splash in this world simply by breathing. Whether you chose to agree with me or not is up to you, but I believe you were born with skills, talents, and a myriad of ways to contribute to the world around you even if that world is only ever your hometown or backyard. You are here and valuable.
Do not ever forget that you matter and keep your chin up!
Now, I really have to go pack.
Happy Friday!
Michelle xoxoxx